my greatest fear, i realised today, is that one day, i know for sure, that my loved ones will have to leave me.
why m i at this topic? this morning at ard 3.30 am my mom woke me up to call for an ambulance for my dad cos he cant walk and it hurts him like shit.
some history on my dad's leg. he has this osteoporosis prob a while ago which caused one of his bones to disappear. so ever since then he always had some pain in the leg when he walks ard. recently it seems to hurt him more than ever, so much so that he couldnt walk ytd.
the feeling of seeing your dad get carried away by 3 men really isnt good.
thankfully there isnt too much of a prob and he came home ard 7+ am.
but from 3.30 am to 7am, i didnt sleep. mostly bcos i cant even though i want to. i kept on thinking about what will happen if we lost him. or say on a smaller scale, sth bad happen to him. i may not be close enough to feel traumatised or terribly upset but i am sure my life would change. it would affect my mom, my bro, my sis which in turns affect me.
and then i thought about what would happen to me if my mom, my bro, my sis is gone. and the only word to describe how i felt was heart wrenching. i couldnt help it but i started crying uncontrollably. i cant imagine would happen to me if these things really happen. i even wished tt i would die before them so i wouldnt have to suffer the pain of losing them.
i know i am being selfish but i really wish that day would nv come and everything can just be like what it is now. i love you!
my greatest fear, i realised today, is that one day, i know for sure, that my loved ones will have to leave me.
why m i at this topic? this morning at ard 3.30 am my mom woke me up to call for an ambulance for my dad cos he cant walk and it hurts him like shit.
some history on my dad's leg. he has this osteoporosis prob a while ago which caused one of his bones to disappear. so ever since then he always had some pain in the leg when he walks ard. recently it seems to hurt him more than ever, so much so that he couldnt walk ytd.
the feeling of seeing your dad get carried away by 3 men really isnt good.
thankfully there isnt too much of a prob and he came home ard 7+ am.
but from 3.30 am to 7am, i didnt sleep. mostly bcos i cant even though i want to. i kept on thinking about what will happen if we lost him. or say on a smaller scale, sth bad happen to him. i may not be close enough to feel traumatised or terribly upset but i am sure my life would change. it would affect my mom, my bro, my sis which in turns affect me.
and then i thought about what would happen to me if my mom, my bro, my sis is gone. and the only word to describe how i felt was heart wrenching. i couldnt help it but i started crying uncontrollably. i cant imagine would happen to me if these things really happen. i even wished tt i would die before them so i wouldnt have to suffer the pain of losing them.
i know i am being selfish but i really wish that day would nv come and everything can just be like what it is now. i love you!
